"Music hath charms...."

There is some music that has an incredible affect on me. Some have a sentimental attachment, (there are hymns from my childhood that still really move me). But other pieces are just so incredibly beautiful that when I hear them my heart soars (some of Bach's Brandenberg Concerti ). Doesn't matter if there are words it's that glorious sound that does it.
This morning, as I do most mornings, I flipped on the TV to catch Good Morning America to listen to and watch before getting out of bed. The lead story was the death of the great tenor Luciano Pavarotti. As I lay there I felt the tears running down my face soaking my beard. Now I rarely cry at another's death and I don't have a particular attachment to Pavarotti. So why the tears? They were playing his signature aria Nessun Dorma (Puccini's masterpiece from Turandot).
Nessun Dorma is one of those pieces of music that seems to reach into my heart and wring out the tears. I really don't know why. The story is a fantasy tale of a Chinese princess name Turandot. The hero, a Prince has kept his name secret from Turandot who is challenged to learn it by dawn or she will have to marry him. Turandot has decreed that no one can sleep that night, they must discover his name. The Prince's aria begins with Turandot's command "No one sleeps..." (nessun dorma). And ends "Vanish, o night! Set behind the mountains, stars! At daybreak, I shall conquer." In 1990 it was the theme for the World Cup which was hosted by Italy.
I hope you will celebrate the music that moves you. It doesn't matter if the music is classical, rap, R&B or country western. As you listen remember those who brought you that music... the composers, writers, and performers.

My Name is Larry Craig!

It's not really easy having sympathy for Sen. Larry Craig, but strangely enough I do.

Back in the 1970s, when I first came out in Salt Lake City, I was rather well acquainted with all the most popular public rest rooms. I knew how to tap my foot and pass toilet paper notes with the best of them and I was reasonably good at "lewd conduct". Back then if you wanted to meet another man to have sex with you're options were limited. There were no gay community centers, gay student groups, no gay social groups. In Salt Lake there was a really seedy bar "The Radio City Lounge". In many places, like Utah and Idaho, "perverts and known homosexuals", by law, could not have a liquor license. Rumor had it that gay bars were "Mafia" owned and operated. Oh and we also had a municipal bath house, built over a natural hot springs, that was pretty disgusting.

If this was what it meant to be gay is it any wonder that a lot of men denied being gay? If this is all he knows about being gay is it any wonder Larry Craig denies being gay? If our places were reversed I might be the disgraced senator and Larry might very well be sitting here writing this.

As this story has unfolded I have been struck by something that hasn't been mentioned much. Why was Larry Craig arrested? Did he threaten anyone? No. Did he defraud anyone? No. Did he approach anyone underage? No. He was looking for another man he could have consensual sex with. We know that at least one young, attractive vice cop was working the Minneapolis Airport looking for someone to entrap. In some places "lewd conduct" would be considered a "nuisance crime" like littering. He'd be given a ticket and sent on his way. In Minneapolis in addition to the time he spent hanging out in the rest room the officer spent 45 minutes interrogating the senator. It seems to me that it was homophobia feeding on homophobia. It was homophobia that created the crime and it was homophobia that led to Larry Craig being arrested.

So Larry Craig's career as a good Republican Senator has been destroyed. His fellow Republicans have broken speed records distancing themselves from him. One even said that he had committed "the unpardonable sin". This has to be hyperbole, cruising a rest room worse than lying to the American people to take us into war in Iraq?

So what do we, as gay men, do about this man who doesn't want to admit to being one of us? Do we "owe" him anything? No. Should we offer him our friendship and support? Well, perhaps, but I really doubt he'll accept it. But let us offer it anyway. After all do we want to be confused with the "friends" who abandoned him. I don't think so.

Molly and Vick

The story on everyone's radar is Michael Vick's admission of guilt to charges involving dog fighting and killing. I'd rather share another story with you.
When Joe (my late lover) and I moved to Baltimore in December, 1992, our first place was out in the suburbs of Baltimore County. The following Spring we found a place in the city just a block from Joe's office. In July Joe had to fly to Phoenix, Arizona, for a church conference. The morning he left I was packing his bags. To get him out of the way I sent off for a long walk with Bentley, the miniature schnauzer we brought from California.
I had just finished packing, closed last suitcase and was putting them out on the porch when Joe and Bentley came up the walk. They were followed by a larger, skinny dog covered with mud, blood and dog poop. She was a mess. She was a pit bull that somebody was trying to make mean so she'd be a fighter.
"She was tied up to the fence behind the old high school. I untied her figuring she'd run off but instead she followed me home, what am I gonna do?"
My response was "You're leaving for Phoenix when your ride gets here and I'll take care of her." His ride came, we took time for a long kiss and off he went with promises to call when he got settled. After he left I put Bentley in the house and set down on the porch steps, the new dog came over and put her head in my lap. You need to know that I'm a big softy especially when it comes to animals. I also have a cast iron stomach. It takes a lot to make me throw up. "Well girl, will you stay here while I get some stuff from inside?" She didn't answer but she didn't leave when I went inside and grabbed the dog shampoo and a pile of old towels and the first aid kit. She watch patiently while I uncoiled the garden hose and turned on a gentle stream. It took a half hour of washing and repeating to get all the mud and crud off of her. She kept trying to drink from the hose so I got Bentley's outdoor water bowl and kept it full as she tanked up on water.
Her face was swollen, one eye almost shut but no cuts on her head. She had bruises and shallow cuts on her back around her tail. (In case you ever need an ice pack and you don't have a "real one", a bag of frozen peas or corn makes a great substitute.) The most amazing thing was that she let me use peroxide on her cuts and an ice pack on her face without fighting me at all. As I was finishing up Sharon, a good friend, the neighborhood dog walker, stopped by and asked me what was happening. I told her the story as she was petting the new dog. Sharon had been a nurse so she gently checked for broken bones and infected cuts. I told her I couldn't afford a vet to take care of the new dog. She said we didn't need one yet but she knew vets who would help out for free. While she was checking the dog I slipped inside and got a bowl of dried kibble. The new dog was famished.
I ended up calling her Molly. Molly was my constant companion for the next 14 years. She took care of me when Joe was sick and when he died. She took care of Bentley in his old age, until he died. About a year ago she developed a number of tumors, cancer the vet said. When it got to be too much I held her in my lap as the vet gave her that last shot. At the end she was trying to lick the tears from my face.
Molly was the sweetest, gentlest dog I'd ever met. She was all the proof I needed to know that pit bulls can be as good and loving as a dog could be.
And so Mr. Vick, you disgust me. You are cruel and malicious, a common thug. I am glad you've lost your job and I hope this ruins your career. I can't help but wonder if a man as cruel as you abuses women and children. The best news is that people will forget you, you will only be a pathetic footnote in NFL history.
FairyBear/Mike

Catching Up

Greetings!
Lordy, lordy, lordy it's been something like 5 months since my last blog! Well, I've now lost a total of 125# making me 180#. I have no idea when I last weighed 180# but it certainly wasn't even in distant memory. Had to be in the late 1970s! I'm doing well, and feeling very good.

A month ago I was visiting Gunny in New York City and he took some pictures including this one. Maybe I'll post a Before pic to go with this After. I had a grand time...a lot of firsts for me...first trip to Ellis Island and The Statue of Liberty on Friday and on Sunday my first trip to Fire Island.
We took in three shows Deuce with Angela Lansbury, The Year of Magical Thinking with Vanessa Redgrave and finall Forbidden Broadway a delightful revue of the current crop of Broadway musicals. For me the exciting thing was that a year ago I might have had the energy to do one day but all three would have been out of the question.

Back in Baltimore we've had so strange weather...Thursday we didn't even get to 70 degrees outside...tomorrow there is an extreme heat warning with heat indices of 100+. All to strange.
Well, that's about all. I will try and be better about keeping up with this!
Hugz to All!

Eye for an Eye

Howdy Folks~
I have a longish story to tell you. By the time I'm done you understand what's happening here.
On December 1, 1973, I was living in Salt Lake City, Utah. I went on a date with my friend Gene. We had gone to a foreign film at the University of Utah (the movie was Dutch "Dies Irae").
On my way home I hit a patch of black ice. My only major injury was to put the gear shift lever through my glasses into my left eye. I was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. The eye was saved but I lost the lens and at that time lens implants were highly experimental and the insurance company just laughed. Jump ahead to 1987 (Santa Barbara, California)...by then lens implants were routine and were actually an outpatient procedure. The insurance I had then said sure go ahead get it done and I did. Time for another jump ahead to October, 2006...after a day of selling stuff at the Lutherville, Maryland, Swap Meet I tripped and fell smash my face into the plastic crate I was carrying. Lots of scrapes and bruises but I thought I hadn't done much damage...WRONG! I had displaced the lens I'd had implanted in 1987! I went to an eye doctor in January and he discovered the damage. On Tuesday, February 27th I went to Union Memorial Hospital and Dr. Nirankeri replaced the lens implanted in 1987. I went to the doctor this morning. He's rather pleased with how it looks and I'm well on my way to recovery. So there you have my long story coming up to today.
I'll keep you informed of how it's healing.

Mike
P.S. I'm down to 204 lbs. That's a loss of 101 lbs.

An Update aka I'm Bragging
Greeting and Salutations!
Just want to catch folks up on the latest news from here in Lauraville!
I had my 5 month review with the Weight Management Center today.
Here's what I found out~
At 205 lbs. I have lost 100 lbs. that's 74.5% of my excess body weight! This came rather early since for most folks it takes a year to reach that point.
I have lost 10 inches each from my chest, waist, and hips.
I am still loosing abt 3 lbs. a week, unfortunately this is bound to slow down.
The only thing that hasn't improved (actually it's gotten worse) in my essential tremors. I'm sounding more and more like Kate Hepburn every day!
All in all everybody seems pretty pleased, I know I am!
Mike
Wednesday February 21, 2007 - 05:17pm (EST)
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MAL~ Mid Atlantic Leather for MLK
So.......who all is going to Washington, DC this weekend for the Mid Atlantic Leather weekend? I'll be there Saturday afternoon through Sunday afternoon... anybody want to get together for a drink?
I'm looking forward to showing off my svelte new body (220#)!
Mike
Thursday January 11, 2007 - 05:30pm (EST)
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Happy 2007
Just a wee note to wish you all a safe New Year's Eve. Be safe guys, we've lost too many in the last year!
Much Love to all....Papa Mike
Sunday December 31, 2006 - 01:19pm (EST) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Help Wanted
Howdy Guys, ....guess I'm justa big ol' bear... I'm single again and while I don't really hate it I sure good use some buddies...good ol boys I can hang out with, get to know, maybe take in movies, try new things, hopefully fuck around and I sure could use some cuddle time... anybody interested? Drop me a line, please send a pic okay?
Mike
Tuesday December 26, 2006 - 05:06pm (EST)
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November 30, 2006~ San Andreas
It appears we have a nasty virus in our computer! So if you have received an Instant Message from me with a link to some pictures...DO NOT OPEN! Just delete it and accept my apology.
Papa Mike

Catching Up

Greetings!
I have been woefully negligent in posting here. BUT I have posted on my Yahoo blog. (Does that make me bad?) Anyway, I have copied those blogs and they will appear above and below this one all in two big blogs. I will do better about posting here.
Papa Mike

More Catching Up

Madonna
I just watched the network broadcast of Madonna's concert...hot damn talk about a show...starting with a herd of the hottest guys in leather pony gear! It was clearly geared for members of our community...lots of naked (well almost maked) men! Certainly one more thing to be thankful for! Woof!
Mike
Wednesday November 22, 2006 - 10:21pm (EST)
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Entry for November 22, 2006
Here's a little quiz to check your long term memory.....
So how many of you looked at todays date and remembered what today in the anniversary of?
Of course I knew: 3
It took a minute but then I remembered: 1
What the hell are you talking about: 3
Wednesday November 22, 2006 - 11:13am (EST)
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Going Down
Well I'm down to 236 pounds.....I don't remember the last time I weighed 236 hmmmmmm must have been in the late 1980s!
Wednesday November 22, 2006 - 11:08am (EST)
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November 04, 2006
Howdy! Well, a lot's happened since my last blog. I sold the house, alot of my stuff and car, paid off a hell of a lot of debts and moved in with a couple of friends. It's been a rough couple of months. And without my friends Steven, Kate and Pam I'd bee sleeping under a bridge somewhere.
I've also lost some 60 pounds and can actually see my dick without bending over . I've still got another 40 or so to lose. The pot belly is much smaller.
The elections are next Tuesday...won't it be good to have them over? I must admit I'm a liberal democrat (the SWP isn't on the ballot). BUT the way I see it...if you can vote you should vote...even if it's gonna cancel mine!
Thanks for all the kind thoughts and messages!
Take care of yourselves and Happy Thanksgiving!
Papa Mike

dias horribilis

Tuesday September 19, 2006

It has been a most horrible last couple of days.
Let me introduce you to my family...Craig is my lover of just over eight years, Gunny joined our family a year ago. We have been lovers and partners and friends during that time.
I went ahead and had the bariatric surgery as planned (see the earlier blog) and came home on Friday afternoon. Later that evening our friend Gunny arrived from New York for the weekend. We had a great weekend with the "boys" taking care of the "wounded old man".
Monday morning when I got up to go to the bathroom I realized that Craig hadn't come in to wake me up before going to work...something he always did. The door to his room was still latched so I opened the door only to find him laying on the floor next to his bed very much dead.
The rest of the day was spent dealing with the permedics and police. Since then some pretty remarkable friends have stayed with me pretty much constantly, caring for me, listening to we wail and crying with me.
In time I'll tell more of the story. For now I'm going to bed, maybe I'll get some sleep. Please remember Craig, Gunny and I along with Craig's family in your prayers or thoughts.
Papa Mike
Later Note: Craig's death has been attributed to "auto-erotic asphyxiation"

A Christian Nation

Howdy! I've been hearing a lot lately about evangelical Christians and their attempts to "reclaim America for Christ" and how we here in the US should be "a Christian Nation".
I have found the notion of "a Christian Nation" frightening but I've been thinking about what kind of nation that could be if it was Christian at its best.
Jesus, according to the Gospel of Matthew, describes the way he'd like to see our society. And, truth be told, it's rather attractive. Shortly before his death he describes the judgement of humanity when the end comes.

The Sovereign will say to those on the right: "Come You have my Parents' blessing! Inherit the the realm prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me. I was ill and you comforted me, in prison and you came to visit me." Then the just will ask: "When did we see you hungry and feed you or see you thirsty and give you drink? When did we welcome you away from home or clothe you in your nakedness? When did we nurse you when you were ill or visit you in prison?" The Soverign will answer them: "I assure you, as often as you did it for one of my little sisters and brothers, you did it for me." Matthew 25:34-39 (NAB inclusified)

Just try to imagine what America would be like if our government was based on these principles

We would have programs to feed the country, no child would go to bed hungry. Everyone would start the day with a good breakfast.

We would have clean water because the government would insist the polluters clean up their messes.

We would welcome emigrants and refugees as well as the undocumented workers.

Workers would have safe and healthy working conditions just as a matter of course.

We would have a national health care system that really works and a prison system that is based on rehabilitation and not revenge.

Funny, I can't imagine this a world like this. Perhaps I've lost hope......

Hail to the Chief

I can’t begin to count the number of times they played Hail to the Chief today.
I got to wondering where this earworm* came from.
Seems the words are from Sir Walter Scott’s Lady of the Lake, published in 1810. (Yes there are words!) And the music, by James Sanderson, is from the London musical version of the poem. It didn’t take long to cross “the pond” and in 1815 was used at a memorial service for George Washington.
According to the Library of Congress, Julia Tyler, wife of President John Tyler (who served from 1841 to 1845), was the first to ask that the song be used to announce the commander in chief's arrival. But it was another first lady, Sarah Polk, wife of President James K. Polk (1845-1849), who requested that "Hail to the Chief" be played routinely for presidential entrances. According to historian William Seale, Sarah Polk was concerned that her husband "was not an impressive figure, so some announcement was necessary to avoid the embarrassment of his entering a crowded room unnoticed."
Funny how a short man’s insecurity lead to this Presidential March based on a London music hall melody!

So I promised you the words…..enjoy!

Hail to the Chief we have chosen for the nation,
Hail to the Chief! We salute him, one and all.
Hail to the Chief, as we pledge co-operation
In proud fulfillment of a great, noble call.
Yours is the aim to make this grand country grander,
This you will do, That's our strong, firm belief.
Hail to the one we selected as commander,
Hail to the President! Hail to the Chief!
[Repeat as often as necessary to get him where he‘s going!]


* an "earworm" is a tune that once you hear it, you just can't get outta your head!